That's the Way
by Mrpointyhorns
Summary: There was one thing in the world that James lived for; his father’s approval. How long will it take him to realize that he’s made a mistake. James/Sirius, James/Lily. AE of OotP


Shutting the door quietly behind him James tried to straight down his hair he turned to face his father putting on his winning

Title: That's the Way

Author: Mrpointyhorns

Rating: PG

Pairing(s): James/Sirius, James/Lily

Beta: none

Spoilers: OotP?

Warnings: AU, but still slightly based off OotP

Summary: There was one thing in the world that James lived for; his father's approval. How long will it take him to realize that he's made a mistake.

Shutting the door quietly behind him, James tried to straight down his hair. He turned to face his father, putting on his winning smile, "You wanted to see me Father?" His father gestured to the chair in front of his desk. James moved over and sat down in it he shifted uncomfortably.

"First let me say; Happy Birthday, James," his father didn't sound so happy however, it was just a formality and James was sure of it. "Your mother tells me that you passed your apparition tests this morning. What's it feel like James, to be a wizard?"

James shifted again uncomfortably. "Good, I suppose."

"You suppose, you don't sound so sure of yourself," His father's words made him shiver lightly he hid it behind a shrug. "What is it that you plan to do now James?"

"Well I was going to finish my last year at Hogwarts. I'm head boy this year," James tugged at his shirt it sure felt warm in the room.

"That's all well and good, James. As you know our family comes from a long line of aurors…"

"Yea and I was planning on getting into Auror School. I had the best OWL's in our class Professor McGonagall already has interviews for me once school starts up," James interrupted, sighing lightly he knew his father would be proud about him for this.

His father nodded lightly and stroked his chin, "Yes that's all well. But, I feel that there is also one other thing you might plan to do for me this year."

James raised an eyebrow, "What is it, Father?"

"I feel that its time that you stop seeing that Sirius-fellow," James's jaw went slack, but beside that no emotion showed physically, all the while his heart was threatening to break. "You need to think about starting a family and producing an heir."

"B-but…" James choked on any words he might have tried to say.

"It's not appropriate James. You've had your fun but its time you grow up now," His father's words strung more bitterly then anyone thought possible, "Now is there a girl you seem interested in."

James shook his head violently the huge lump in his throat making it impossible to swallow let alone speak at all. His father sat back and shuffled threw the drawers in the desk, "I took careful consideration of the girls in your year. Lily Evans, here, has top marks and she's going to be Head Girl. I think you should really consider her as your partner. But if not I've listed some others here for you to look over. Do not disappoint me, James."

Shaky as his hands were James managed to take the file that his father composed for him. He managed to stride out of the room on his jelly like legs. He kept his face straight and serene until he made it to his room. He tossed the folder on top of his oak desk and found himself face down in a mountain of pillows his sobs muffled but not unheard.

His mother stood in the doorway for a few minutes watching her son's heartbreak. There was one thing in the world that James lived for and that was to please his father. The man was not easily pleased. James had spent year after painful year doing things out of that need. He joined the quidditch team only to see his father barely nod his way. He spent hours in his studies, however shocking that might seem, and had yet to get a 'thatta boy.' He had even been known to do a couple naughty things, breaking Hogwarts rules left and right to get any sort of attention from his uncaring father. The man had yet to look his way let alone scold him for it. James would not pass up this opportunity to 'not' disappoint his father. Even if it meant passing up his opportunity to have someone love him for who he was.

Slowly his mother made her way over to the bed sitting on the edge of it she moved her hand to rub soft circles into her son's back. James continued his sobbing for a while more and there was no indication that he noticed her there at all. Not until he was wiping his eyes with the back of his hand and sitting up. He tugged his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around them and resting his chin on top.

"Can't you do anything?" James sniffed and rubbed his nose on the rough jeans he wore that day.

Mrs. Potter shook her head, "James, I agree with him." She whispered softly. Her son's soft hazel eyes turned a cold bitter gaze at her. "It's the way it should be."

"Why not, is it because he's a boy and I'm a boy?" James's words could not be described as anger there was a soft ache in them that made them desperate if anything.

Mrs. Potter nodded, "That's not the only reason though James. He's different than us, than you are. No matter how much he really wants to, James, he can never really escape who he is. And you can never change who you are. You're a Potter," she stood from the bed, "That's just the way it has to be James."

James lowered his eyes to his bedding; he didn't need to watch his mother leave him. He balled his hands into to fist, and let out a strained sob. His eyes flickered over to his desk. He pressed away the pain and he moved over to sort threw the things his father had found out.

Moving into the darkened dormitory, Remus was slightly glad for his night vision as he made his way threw piles of clothing and other things lying on the floor over to his mate's bed. He pushed back the curtains slowly and peered into the dark cavern Sirius had made for himself. He pushed Sirius's feet aside and sat down at the end of the bed.

"Sirius…"

"Did you see him?" Sirius sat up his chin and jaw line painted with whiskers that had gone unshaved since the time Sirius had locked himself away in the seventh years boys' dorm. "Did you see him with her?"

Remus nodded and reached out to him, "Look at you Sirius, how could you let yourself go like this?"

"He left me Remus! I feel like shit. Why can't I look like shit for once?" Sirius whimpered slumping back into bed and pulling the covers over his head.

Remus shifted so that his legs were folded under him, "You weren't really official were you?"

"No," Sirius croaked and Remus knew he had started crying again, "But I love him! I thought he loved me too! He didn't even say anything about it to me. He just started seeing her. I had to hear it from the gossip chain Remus! It was like he was ashamed of me or something."

"I heard it from the gossip chain too," Remus reached a hand over and rubbed Sirius's back lightly, "I…I don't think it's you, that he's ashamed of, Sirius."

"Well, he's ashamed of what we had. He can't even look me in the eyes. He hasn't said more then two words to me, Remus. I think I could manage if he didn't want to be my lover anymore but I don't think I can handle losing him as a friend." Sirius gripped the sheets around him tightly, "I can't…I love him so much."

Remus stroked his back for a while longer until he heard Sirius's breathe even out as he drifted into sleep. Remus stood carefully from the bed, pity lacing his eyes as he stared down at Sirius. "This isn't right," he whispered before heaving out a sigh and making his way out of the room. Hopefully, he could catch James before he made his way to bed.

He was lucky enough to find James heading into the room waving Lily off. Remus quickened his step and followed James into the room before the door closed. He was really ready to give James a good talking to. But he was not excepting to find James crying; as he stood in front of the fire place that was provide for the head boy. He moved closer. James tense when he realized he was not alone.

Just as Remus approached James turned about and buried his face into his friend's shoulder. Remus stood shocked for a moment, unconsciously rubbing his lower back in a gentle soothing motion.

"I'm terrible," he whispered against Remus's throat. "I'm a terrible person." Remus stroked his back some more and rocked them gently. "I don't know what I'm doing?" Remus led them over to the couch, in front of the fire place, he sat them down.

"James's what's going on?" Remus stroked his hair leisurely, watching him softly.

"I didn't want to Remus. My parents they said I should start thinking about having a family. They don't want me to be with him. Remus, I love him. I just don't know what else to do," James voice hissed in pain. "It's just the way it has to be."

Remus frowned. "You should tell him James. Don't let him think that it's because you don't care." James shook his head frowning sadly. "But you have to talk to him again. He needs you. You're his best friend and he's yours if nothing else, you two need each other."

"It's the way it has to be." James pushed the tears from his eyes recomposing himself. He scooted over and leaned his head on Remus's shoulder. "Don't tell him please."

Remus ruffled his hair. "Shh James, just relax."

The group of friends sat bracketed by two sets of parents. The redhead clicked her fork on the glass. "I have something to say…" she giggled smiling cheekily her teeth shown brightly as she looked between her parents and her boyfriend. "James, asked me to marry him!"

"Lily!" her mother exclaimed and quickly asked to see the ring; she and Mrs. Potter fond over it. "Do you have any dates planned?"

"July," James nodded his head, refusing to look his friends in the eye. "No later then the thirty-first if I have any say in it." His hazel eyes darted over to his father who did not seem to be joining in the celebrations much.

Lily giggled gaily wrapping an arm around James. "Isn't he charming," She exclaimed. She continued to chat quickly about plans she had.

James's eyes drifted to the table. He played idly with the cloth napkin in his lap. His father had not even given him a nod of approval and his only chance to ever have Sirius again, had been destroyed in the last five minutes.

"Excuse me." James stood from the table. "I'll be back in a minute, Lils." Without another word he quickly left the Potter's expansive dinning room. He slipped into the bathroom across the hall and splashed water onto his face. Sighing he leaned over pressing his forehead against the mirror. He took long deep breathes and tried not to be sick.

"James," Sirius's voice floated passed the wood of the door. Without even a knock of warning he entered the room. "James's what's wrong? You looked so pale. Shouldn't you be happy? You're getting married!"

James steadied himself and turned to face his friend. "Yes, I should. I'm getting married." His eyes stung with tears but he did not turn them from his best friend.

"Do you not want to?" Sirius raised an eyebrow reading right threw his carefully constructed façade. Sirius gasped audible and stepped back. "You don't love her, do you?"

"Please Sirius, no." James shook his head holding a hand out. "This is how it has to be." He shook his head again. "Please, I don't know how to explain it to you, but please, understand."

Sirius pursued his lips and tried to understand what his friend was telling him without really telling him. In the time he had, right then, he couldn't think of what it was, but he knew that it was the thing that would make everything, in away, better. "So, you're getting married, mate. And I'll be right next to you while you do it?"

A small weary smile crossed James's face. "Isn't the groom supposed to decide on who he wants to be the best man?" Sirius blushed brightly and nodded lightly. James's smile grew just a little bit. "Thank you, Sirius," He breathed softly and then with his best friend by his side he braved himself to face his family and future in-laws for the remainder of dinner.

Stumbling, out of the smoke of his house James coughed raggedly. He looked back at the house tears bit the back of his eyes like they never had before. He had been too late. Lily had asked him to stop by the store to get some candies for the local muggle children and when he came back what was left of his house, his family, and his son, was ash and rubble.

Anger flooded through him and he stumbled away from the house and down the street. His heart cringing in agony, he had to get away from this place. He could not live in a place where the two things in the world that he loved most were kept from him.

Sure the passengers on the bus shied away from him. And he had to convince the trainman that he was not a convicted loon, but travel did not seem too difficult considering.

America, he decided seemed like a good place to hide it was pretty big and there were so many people there and none of them, hopefully would ever recognize him. The ache in his heart for his son would hopefully go away in this desolate place. Yet, If he had known what they were doing to his love, what really had happened to his son, he might not have stayed away for such along time.

It was one day when James was not working. (The local boys' soccer team didn't have a game that Saturday either.) He had decided to spend the time doing his neglected house hold chores. His maid, Lucinda would be pleased with what she had to work with this week. Donning his sweats he began with the dishes on the left side of the sink, the dirty ones.

He had not gotten far when an owl swooped into the room and hooted from the table. James looked at in awe. For fifteen years he had not heard anything about the wizarding world. He had not tried to find any of the States' Witches or Wizards, and all of the people in his neighborhood were muggles. Except, perhaps Danny, the young girl that lived next door to him; he knew her because she liked to play with all the young boys and had begged to join his soccer team.

Hesitantly, he decided to find out who would be writing him. From what he could tell people must have thought he was dead. Surely someone would have written if it were thought other wise.

The large white owl hooted in appreciation when he stroked her feathers and opened his refrigerator to find something for her to munch on. Scrawled messily in away he would usually associate with his own hand writing was just his first name on a worn envelope. He opened it carefully as he grabbed some salami slices. He plopped down at the table stroking the white feathers of the owl next to him as he fed her leisurely.

Dear James,

I don't really know where to start. You'll probably never get this letter considering that you are dead but I just needed to write everything down.

I don't want you to blame yourself for everything that happened after all there wasn't anything you could do about it. This June, my godfather, Sirius Black fell through the veil. I realize how disappoint you must be in me. Sirius has been the second person I have lost since Voldemort's returned. I realize now all the things I could have done in order to keep him safe but I neglected all of them.

I wanted to apologize for my foolishness. For a while now I thought of Sirius as a surrogate father. I had started to really care and open up to him, but now I feel like it had all been in vain. Certainly, you must be very disappointed in me. It was because of my actions that one of your best friend's is now lost to the world.

Currently, I am still residing in the Dursley's. They're awful people really, but Dumbledore assures me that there is no where safer for me at this time. I don't blame you or Mum for my being here. And you shouldn't worry about me too much. They usually feed me and sure uncle Vernon yells all the time but they almost never hit me. They usually let me out of my room to use the bathroom regularly. However, I suppose I shouldn't be complaining nor should I be worrying you over something you have absolutely no control over. It's just, I miss you.

Its silliness really, I never even knew you but I know that I miss the thought of you, the thought of having a father and a family that really cared about me. Sirius and Remus assured me that you had, that you would, but I still wonder if you could still love me after everything that has happened because of me.

Love, Harry (your son)

James blinked readily a few times. "Well of course I know who my son is?" he bit back at the letter making the owl next to hoot indignantly. "But my son is dead. This is just some kind of hoax." James reread the letter a few times. He could not believe that this was really a hoax. Even though he told himself that it was, several times, each time less convincing then the first. "Is it true can Harry still be alive?"

The white owl hooted in conformation. "These Dursley's sound just awful the way they treat him. You mustn't be a normal postal owl then you must be Harry's." Another cheerful hoot. "Right then first things first, let's find my wand." Hedwig hooted. "Don't hoot at me in that tone. I haven't used magic more or less for fifteen years." Hedwig hooted sympathetically.

James turned about the room and tugged on his shaggy hair before stopping to look at Hedwig. "Well since you can find anything including a dead person just don't sit there." Hedwig took off; glad to be of some help, usually Harry just left her to hunting mice.

James quickly pulled a pen and pad from a drawer near the sink and scribbled down a note for his maid. She'd be able to take care of his affairs until he came back. He was just putting it up on the refrigerator as Hedwig swooped into the room wand in her talon.

James held out an arm and she landed comfortably dropping the wand into his hand. "Steady now haven't done this in a while." He whispered gathering his magic he was suddenly gone with a snap.

It was not the snapping from downstairs that altered Harry, however, it was the main reason he had began to shove things into his trunk. It was the familiar hooting that had him breaking the lock and rushing down his uncle's stairs. His family had gone to a cottage by the sea for the weekend locking him in his room for his own good. He had just been feeling the pangs of starvation when the first pops occurred.

"Remus," Harry smiled when he enter the room dragging his trunk behind him. He rushed over to the werewolf and hugged him briefly. He had long since stopped blaming himself for the death of his godfather it had been a series of accidents. Personally he felt that dwelling on it, was not doing anyone any good. Dwelling on it actually turned out to be a good thing, because he had sent out a letter, to his father, with Hedwig. He had yet to see her back and it had worried him some.

Hedwig fluttered over and landed on his shoulder nipping at his ear affectionately, "I'm sorry I sent you on that goose chase Hedwig. It was rather silly of me."

"Not quite Harry." Remus's, as well as the few other order members, Harry was not familiar with, whipped their heads about to face the charming, James Potter. Harry's green eyes stared in confusion.

"James?" Remus was the first to recover, "But, you…"

"I went to the market, Remus," James spoke briefly, "But when I came home, well there was no home to come to. Everything was ash I thought Lily and Harry…"

"Died…" Harry finished his chest swelled slightly at the thought. He had a father! He had come for him from whereever he had been just at one hopeful letter.

James bowed his head in shame, as Dumbledore stalked in front of him. Harry sat next to him on the couch in the Headquarter's drawing room. To Remus's ears, it sounded to him like Dumbledore was mumbling something about James's staying dead, but he couldn't be sure, he was seated next to James's other side and at least three feet from the headmaster.

"Did you know he was alive?" Harry finally spoke up and sparkling blue eyes turned to face his green ones. "You did! You never told me! You lied to me. Were you ever going to tell me?"

Dumbledore moved forward. "Harry, there are more important things for you to be doing right now. James wanted to keep you from the powers you were truly capable of having, from what you could become. The wizarding world needs you right now. He is just going to have to leave but you'll have to continue your task, until the prophecy if fulfilled."

"Wh-what but…Professor." Harry turned his head slightly to gaze at his father longingly.

"That's the way its going to have to be, Harry." Dumbledore put his foot down.

Harry looked pained but he did not know what other choice he had. Dumbledore, had authority over him. For all he knew Dumbledore could keep the wizarding world from him if he refused to do as he was told. He losing this world would be like losing a piece of himself. A piece he had just come to know but could never lose.

"No!" James was on his feet this time his hazel eyes had a fire in them something that he had never been capable of before. "That isn't right! Harry does have a choice. It's not the way it has to be. It's just the way you want it to be." He turned to kneel next to Harry. "You might not understand this Harry but I've been kept from doing something, this one thing that was more important to me then anything just because everyone I looked up to told me it wasn't right. That their way, was the only way that would work, but I wouldn't let the same thing control you Harry. You can chose which way it's going to be Harry. It's your choice."

Harry studied his father for a long moment. "Harry, don't listen to him. He doesn't know what he's talking about. You could have great power; he just wants to take it away from you. Me, I'll show you how to control and harness your power. You'll be able to do whatever you want, as long as you listen to me." Dumbledore broke his gaze. "He doesn't care about you Harry. He left you for sixteen years."

"That's not true Harry. I do care about you. I love you so much and that might not even make sense to you because I know your just meeting me for the first time. You're my son and I've loved you from the first time you were put in my arms and for every moment after that, even when I couldn't hold you anymore."

"James, stay out of the way I don't want to have to hurt you," Dumbledore growled at the other wizard. "Harry's mine. I've taken care of his safety and well being for the last decade and a half. I've been training him to become the perfect wizard and where have you been…"

Remus eyes widened as did Harry's their trust for the headmaster going out the window. James just stood up to him glaring at him. "I might have not been there but I will not let him be told what way things have to be without letting him choosing whether or not he wants that."

"It doesn't matter if he wants it!" Dumbledore fumed. "The wizarding world needs him!"

"For what!?" James growled back.

"To control them, so that I can take control." Dumbledore smiled lightly. "Too bad you wouldn't be around to witness such a glorious time." He raised his wand. He aimed for the elder Potter.

James groaned and cracked open an eye after a moment the light was unbearable and painful. But the sight in front of him was worth it. Sirius was laid against his left side while Harry was pressed against his right both breathed evenly in a fretful sleep. He turned his head lightly when he heard the rustle of robes.

"James," Remus stood from his seat and limped over. There was tiredness in his eyes that James was not familiar with. "You wouldn't believe it."

"What wouldn't I believe?" He whispered trying unsuccessfully not to wake the men lying with him.

"Dad!" Harry threw his arms around him and gave him a rough squeeze. Sirius joined their hug shortly after. "I never knew all that stuff that Dumbledore was talking about before Sirius came rushing in. Turns out that falling through the veil only set him back a while. Dumbledore planned for it to happen when he started suspecting too much."

Sirius nodded. "I figured it out after I read one of the books in my family library. My father had written about Tom Riddle and how Dumbledore had tried to create him into his first 'weapon.' But it did not work properly because Tom realized that he had become stronger then his creator and did not have to listen to him. It didn't make Voldemort any better however; he was still an active muggle hater but one of the biggest problems was that he opposed Dumbledore. He didn't like that so he knew he needed to destroy him."

"That's what he wanted me for," Harry said softly. "I had no idea I was being manipulated like that. He even made it seem like that I was dead, so you wouldn't be around for me to get to close to. And when I started getting too close to Sirius and after he found out about what he was really up to he had to get rid of him too. I'm so sorry Dad. He wanted me to become a killer or something. I didn't know. I just thought that's the way it had to be."

James reached over and stroked Harry's cheek. "But what happened? One moment I was staring down the barrel of a gun, so to speak, and then next I wake up with you two on top of me."

"Well Sirius rushed in and threw a curse in Dumbledore's direction and no more then a moment after that Remus and I had our own wands out. You got caught in some of the cross fire especially after the rest of the order ran in there and weren't sure what side they were on. And then there were the death eaters…the most honorable house of Black and the entire street around it is nothing but rubble!" Harry explained.

"But, we still did it. We beat them Voldemort and Dumbledore. Arthur Weasley was appointed Minster and he appointed McGonagall the headmistress of Hogwarts. He said he didn't think it was fair that any follower from any side be persecuted because no one had been aware of what really was going on," Sirius continued.

"However, some extreme loyalist for both sides have been put in Azkaban or St. Mungo's," Remus added.

James nodded solemnly, "Sounds like a pretty happy ending."

"Pretty much," Harry agreed sliding off the bed. "But, Sirius told me what that thing was you were kept from doing and I for one think it's about time that you do it."

James turned his eyes up to Sirius. Sirius leaned down to captured James's lips with his own. "Mmm I think its time too," Sirius murmured on his lips.

Hazel eyes closed shut and broad arms wrapped around Sirius's waist. "I agree." He kissed along the other's jaw. "I love you," He murmured.

Sirius drove his tongue into James's mouth lavish him like he had not for more then twenty years. Remus looked over to Harry. "That's a happy ending," Harry mused.

"That's the way it ought to be, Harry," he said leading Harry away as moaning and clothes flew about the room.

"I change my mind," Harry mused as they shut the door and long cries and pants were heard from the other room.

"What's that?" Remus asked raising an eyebrow.

Harry waited a couple minutes before he heard his godfather's name from his father's voice. "That's a happy ending."


End file.
